A Matter of Honor
by Amy McWilliams (McAmy)

Book 1: The Honors Project

Chapter 3: The Challenge

The next evening, Remus was in his office grading papers when Harry knocked softly at the open door. "Come in," he said, smiling.

"I don't want to interrupt…" Harry began, but Remus waved him in.

"Nonsense. I need an excuse to take a break. Term papers from first years aren't the easiest reading there is."

"No, I suppose not," Harry agreed, taking a seat in a comfortable chair.

Remus waited, but Harry didn't say anything further. It was clear he wanted to talk about something, but Remus was willing to let him choose his own time.

"So how do finals look? You were a bit worried about Charms, if I remember correctly from the last time you stopped by. I'm sure…"

"Remus?" Harry interrupted, and Remus wasn't sure the boy even realized he'd been asked a question.

"Yes, Harry," Remus answered, then waited for Harry to continue.

"You have to spend time with Professor Snape, right? I mean, you sit next to him at meals, and he makes the potion for you and all…"

Harry broke off. He hadn't asked about Professor Lupin's condition since his return; he knew only what Dumbledore had told the school at the beginning of the year--that because of "certain developments," the board had agreed to re-hire Lupin for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, which had been left vacant, as usual, at the end of Harry's fifth year. He was sure Dumbledore wanted to keep Lupin close, and not only because he was a great teacher; Remus Lupin was also friends with Sirius Black, Harry's godfather. Having him at Hogwarts would make it easier to communicate with Sirius, and would let Sirius breathe easier where Harry's safety was concerned. He wasn't sure what Sirius and Remus were doing for Dumbledore--or maybe they were even working for the Ministry of Magic, Harry thought suddenly, with a glint of pride at the idea of his godfather being cleared from the charges that shadowed him--but he knew that Dumbledore trusted Remus completely, and had fought long and hard to have him reinstated, despite the fact that he was a Werewolf. "I'll bet Snape was thrilled," Harry thought to himself.

That reminded him of his question. He glanced at Remus, who was patiently waiting for him to finish his thought. "I mean, he's not completely awful, is he?" Harry asked, weakly.

Remus smiled. "No, Harry, Severus Snape is not completely awful. With other professors, he can even be civil, every once in a while." Harry looked relieved. "And yes, he does make my potion for me."

Harry started, but Remus continued before he could interrupt. "It's all right Harry. I don't mind telling you. Dumbledore asked Snape to work on perfecting the Wolfsbane Potion after I left Hogwarts, hoping that some way could be found to allay people's fears so that I might return. Snape did--grudgingly, I'm sure--and has managed to refine the potion to the point that I only have to take it once a month, at the full moon." Harry looked surprised.

"So no, Severus Snape isn't all bad. Though he certainly does a good impression of it." Remus smiled at Harry's surprised reaction.

"That's…that's good…" Harry faltered. "I mean, well…"

Remus tilted his head, and then gently asked, "Harry, is this about Hermione?" Harry looked at him, surprised again. "I thought so," Remus continued. "The teachers were discussing honors projects before the weekly staff meeting, and several of them had already met with her. I believe she's going to meet with Snape, as well?"

Harry nodded. "She doesn't seem to be able to make up her mind. I know how much this means to her, and that she wants to choose the best possible topic. Ron doesn't help, though. As much as he cares about her, he can't believe she wants to do a project at all, much less with Snape."

Remus offered, "Perhaps she'll choose Charms or Transfiguration. She told me that she was very excited about her potential Charms topic."

Harry nodded, then quietly said, "But she said the same thing about her Potions topic. I haven't talked with her much about it; any time one of us mentions it, Ron goes ballistic."

Remus smiled, "I can well imagine."

Finally, Harry resolved to ask the real question that had been bothering him since Hermione had mentioned Snape as a possibility. "Remus? If Hermione decides to write a proposal for Snape, do you think he'll reject it just because she's a Gryffindor? Just because she's…friends with me? She can only propose one project, and if she isn't approved…"

Remus finished the thought for him, "…you couldn't bear to be the reason she doesn't get to do an honors project at all?" Harry nodded meekly. "Harry, why do you think that Hermione will decide to propose a project with Snape? You seem awfully certain of it. Don't you think you might be borrowing trouble? When I spoke with her, she didn't seem to have decided…" he stopped when he noticed the expression on Harry's face.

"Because," Harry said, "it's the biggest challenge of all."

The next day at breakfast, Remus kept an eye on the Gryffindor table, timing his own departure so that he could "happen" to run into Hermione on her way to the tower to retrieve her books before class. She didn't see him at first; she walked quickly, clearly determined and more than a bit worried. He had a pretty good guess as to what it was that occupied her so completely.

"Good morning, Hermione," he called after her before she was too far away.

"Oh, Professor…" Hermione looked at him as if coming out of a daze. "I didn't see you."

"Or hear me, from the looks of it." Remus smiled at her. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting."

"Oh, no, Professor Lupin. I was just…well, I was going to try to catch one of my professors before the first class. I have one last meeting to arrange about the honors project topics, and the deadline's only a week away."

"Professor Snape left breakfast early; he said something about preparing a solution for his first class." Hermione looked at him, mouth agape. Remus added, "I expect he will be in the classroom still."

Hermione managed to ask, "How did you know…?"

Remus replied, "You had mentioned that you were going to speak with him, and I assumed he'd be the one you'd put off until last."

Hermione accepted his explanation and put a matter-of-fact expression on her face. "Actually, I tried to meet with him on Tuesday after the last class period, but he was busy with a second year who had apparently melted his cauldron to the floor. I thought I'd wait for a better time, and I've been busy, what with studying for finals and all."

Remus nodded, "Of course." The girl looked worried again. He continued, "Hermione, you know that you don't have to agree to do a project for Snape only because you think it's the biggest challenge you could set for yourself. You should write your proposal based on your interest in the topic, rather than choose a subject because of, or despite, the professor that comes with it."

Hermione thought for a moment, and then met his gaze. "The trouble is, Professor, that the more I think about my options, the more I realize that the topic I most want to do is in…Potions."

Remus smiled. "So your dilemma is that you've made up your mind about the topic, but can't make up your mind about the professor?" Hermione looked down again. Remus still smiled, though she couldn't see it. "Then I will only say, child, that Severus Snape is not completely awful."

He could see the corner of her mouth twitch upwards. "You may be right," Hermione said softly, "but how will I ever convince Ron?"

Armed with the books for her morning classes, Hermione made her way down to the dungeons. She thought that it might be better to wait until later in the day, since Remus had said that Professor Snape was preparing for class…no. She wasn't going to put this off any longer. All she wanted was to arrange a time to meet with him later; surely he couldn't deduct points for that, even if he was in the middle of something. And if he looked too busy, she could always leave and come back after class….

She timidly glanced into the Potions classroom, but Snape wasn't there. He must have finished his preparations--maybe he was in his office. She walked quietly down the hallway to the next door, took a deep breath, and knocked softly. There was no answer. She turned to leave, but the door opened behind her and a deceptively low and slightly mocking voice said, "Miss Granger, were you planning to knock and run away, or did you want to see me about something?"

She turned back to face him, his stern look causing her to doubt her resolve.

But only for a moment. Mustering her courage and hoping her voice wouldn't break, she replied, "Yes Professor. I'm sorry to disturb you, but I wanted to arrange a time to speak with you about a possible honors project. I…I'm very interested in writing a proposal for Potions."

She braced herself for the sneer, for the cutting remark about the difficulty of such a project and her clear lack of ability. Instead, Snape's eyes narrowed for a moment, and then he said, "Fine. You may meet me in the classroom after the end of the last period. Don't be late."

As he shut the door, she realized that she'd been holding her breath, and let it out in a relieved sigh.

At lunch, she sat down in her usual place across from Harry and Ron. The boys had arrived only a few minutes earlier; on Fridays the trio split up for the class just before lunch, with Harry and Ron in Advanced Care of Magical Creatures (Ron was thinking about working with his brother Charlie after graduation) and Hermione in Advanced Arithmancy.

They were all silent for a moment after she sat down, and then Harry began, hesitantly, "How was class, Hermione?"

"Fine," she replied, almost curtly. Then, in her usual tone, she asked, "How was yours? Did Hagrid help out again?"

Hagrid still taught some of the lower-level classes, but a new faculty member, Professor Hollywell, taught the upper. Harry and Ron liked him well enough, and were pleased that he let Hagrid help out with the lessons whenever possible.

Harry began to tell Hermione about their lesson--it had been on dragon breeding, and somehow Ron had managed to bring up the fact that Harry had faced down a mother dragon during the Triwizard Tournament a couple of years before, leading Professor Hollywell to ask for Harry's impressions on the defense tactics of Norwegian Ridgebacks. Harry owed Ron for that one, he thought to himself.

But before he could say as much to Ron, Ron burst out, "Come on, Hermione, don't pretend nothing's going on. Spill it. How was your meeting with Snape?"

Hermione glared at him, and before Harry could intervene, she snapped, "I've arranged to meet with him after classes today, Ron. Thanks for asking." She stared at her plate and began to eat, clearly determined not to speak to Ron for the rest of the meal.

"Good luck, then. And tell ol' Snape-y we said 'hi,' why don't you, since you're such chums with him now." Ron fairly spat out the words before getting up and storming out of the hall.

Harry waited a minute, then spoke. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I don't understand why this bothers him so much." Another pause. "I do hope that your meeting with Snape goes well." He stopped, not knowing what else to say.

After a moment, Hermione looked up at him and smiled. "I'm sorry you have to be in the middle of this, Harry. It can't be much fun to put up with the two of us." Harry smiled back. "And thank you," she added, softly.

Harry decided to risk asking her, "Hermione? Do you think…I mean, have you decided to write your proposal in Potions?"

Hermione started, looking at him sharply. "Why do you say that?"

Harry considered for a moment, and then said, "Because I know you're really interested in that Potions topic you were talking about, and I didn't figure you'd go through all of this trouble with Snape--and Ron--if you weren't serious about it."

Hermione looked at him for a moment, as if weighing her answer--or preparing for his response. "Yes. I've all but decided on Potions. It all depends, though, on what Snape says this afternoon when he hears my idea." Hermione looked down again, and the pair was silent.

When she glanced back up at Harry, surprised, perhaps, that he hadn't begun to rant about Snape, he smiled at her. "Then good luck, Hermione. As if you ever needed luck." She smiled back.

At the end of Advanced Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall called Hermione aside to ask about her progress. Ron took the opportunity to leave quickly, so as not to have to hear anything about her meeting with Snape, or pretend to tolerate the fact that she was having one at all. Harry waited for her at the door, chatting for a moment with Dean.

When Hermione joined him, Harry simply said, "We'll see you at dinner, right?"

"Right," Hermione said. Harry then held up his crossed fingers and she smiled.

She concentrated on the meeting as she walked down the several flights of stairs to the Potions classroom. It was a good thing that they hadn't had Advanced Potions today; she didn't think she would have been able to manage even the weakest formula under Snape's gaze. It was all up to him now, she thought, but quickly pushed him from her mind, trying to focus instead on how she was going to describe her topic.

Professor McGonagall had seemed surprised when Hermione told her that she was seriously considering a Potions project, but Hermione knew that if there were any chance Snape would treat her unfairly, McGonagall would have said something, or at least steered her in another direction. As it was, both McGonagall and Dumbledore would be reading her proposal as well as Snape. "Besides," she thought, "if he turns me down flat, I still have next week to work with Flitwick on the Charms topic before the deadline."

But she didn't want to study Charms. She wanted to study Potions. She knew that Remus had been right; she was doing this in large part because she wanted to prove she could--because Professor Snape was her last challenge. He'd never been impressed with anything she'd done. Frankly, she wondered if he would even know who she was if it weren't for all the times he'd caught her trying to help Neville over the years. If it weren't for her friendship with Harry.

But it was more than that--more than a desire to impress the unimpressible teacher. She knew her idea was good; she just knew it. Professor Vector agreed, and she wasn't saying so only because Hermione was her favorite student. When Hermione, in the course of her independent study, had first developed the idea for the potion she was now contemplating, Vector had been undeniably thrilled with the possibility. It was the main reason she hadn't pressured Hermione towards an honors project in Arithmancy; she knew that Hermione couldn't do everything she wanted to do if she focused on a single subject. She had told Hermione that a strong witch with a broad base in several subjects was often of more use than a specialist. And Hermione was, Vector had said, a strong witch.

With these thoughts in her mind, Hermione arrived at the Potions classroom. The students had gone--rarely did anybody stay long after Snape's classes. She glanced in, and, seeing Professor Snape standing at the front sorting through homework parchments, stepped inside. When he did not respond, she cleared her throat, not wanting to disturb him.

Without looking up, Snape said, "Well, Miss Granger, are you going to come in and talk to me about your dreams for a honors project in Potions, or are you simply going to stand there and cough?"

Hermione squared her shoulders and walked to the front row of desks. Taking a seat, she replied, a little more loudly than she had intended, "I'm here to talk about a proposal, Professor Snape. On time, as requested."

At this, he looked up, with a glint in his eye that she couldn't quite place. "So I see. Now, tell me what you have been considering, and I'll tell you if it's any good or not."

Hermione clinched her fists under the desk, desperately wishing she hadn't set her book bag down so far away--she would have liked to hold on to something. She swallowed once, breathed deeply, and began. She outlined her idea in clear terms and neat but involving prose. She noted that she had first thought of the topic as she tried to work out a problem in her Arithmancy study; Snape snorted. But as she explained that the equations she had been working on would not let her affect the change she desired--she had been attempting nothing short of lessening the effect of the Cruciatus curse by developing a counter curse that could reconfigure the angle between the caster and the victim on the fly, so that, with what amounted to a virtual side-step, the victim could avoid the full brunt of the pain--Snape remained silent, almost motionless. She had shelved the idea, determined to look at it later from a different perspective, because any equation that would get her close to the outcome she wanted would be too advanced for the average witch or wizard. And with the threat of Voldemort (Snape didn't flinch when she said the name) increasing every day, anything that she developed needed to be simple.

In Potions class one day, Professor Snape had been describing the effects of certain exotic elements that he was using to develop medicinal potions--and Hermione had made the connection. While he had been discussing speedier bone regeneration and his work on a cure for lycanthropy, Hermione's brain had been spinning with the realization that she hadn't seen the forest for the trees. She didn't need an equation, a charm, or a spell. She needed a potion.

She outlined the reading and rudimentary experiments she had done in the past few weeks while trying to decide if her idea had merit. She noted that Professor Vector had found it promising, and Snape merely nodded for her to continue. She explained the scope of the project as she understood it, and added that she would, of course, be willing to work any number of hours to complete it, if it were approved. At that, she came to a stop, amazed that she had talked for so long. Amazed that Snape had listened so intently.

If she had any doubts that she had presented her case well, the piercing gaze Snape still fixed on her didn't immediately put them to rest. "Not that he'd ever intend to put me at ease, after all," she thought to herself.

Snape regarded her silently for a long moment, and then moved to sit in the chair next to hers.

"Miss Granger, your topic is not entirely an original one, though I certainly believe that you came to your epiphany in exactly the way you describe. I have a couple of articles on the subject that I believe you will find interesting."

"Great," Hermione thought, "but at least he didn't say there were any books on the subject." She mentally chastised herself for not having done a more thorough search of the library.

As if reading her thoughts, Snape continued, "I don't expect you would have had a chance to read them yet; both are newly published, and one is in German, not carried by our library. I have translated the piece, however, and will loan you that along with the two originals."

Hermione managed to meet his gaze; he still hadn't said "no."

"Now, as for the project as you have outlined it, I have a problem with the scope."

"Here it comes," she thought.

"I have seen your dedication, the tireless hours you put into your work. I believe Professor McGonagall said that you turned down the position of Prefect because you wanted to focus on your studies?"

Hermione nodded, wondering that he knew so much about her.

"While I would never encourage a student to focus on one subject--or on an honors project--to the detriment of his or her other work, I think that you have the dedication that would allow you to…broaden…your proposal."

He paused, and Hermione could only stare at him blankly.

"While I think that you are smart to focus on the Cruciatus curse as a start, I would not be surprised if you were to find that work on the other Unforgivable Curses would come naturally out of the primary work, once completed. So, while I would outline the project in your proposal just as you have done for me here today, I would suggest that you add a section that discusses the probable expansion of your subject matter to at least one of the other Curses."

Hermione blinked, in stunned silence.

"Miss Granger?" Snape spoke her name softly, but with that ever-present hint of sarcasm.

She drew her wits about her enough to ask, "Do you mean that you are agreeing to let me do an honors project in Potions?"

Snape's lip curled, not exactly a sneer.

"You're getting ahead of yourself, Miss Granger. I am simply agreeing to read your proposal. The rest is up to you."

On to Chapter 4