Luke Quotes from October-December 1997

Bobbie: "So what do you make of it? Why would Sonny leave Brenda at the altar?"
Luke: "Maybe he finally came to his senses."
Bobbie: "She wanted to get into that wedding so bad she swiped Ruby's invitation."
Luke: "Well. Sounds like my kind of girl."
About Lizzy, 10-6-97
Bobbie: "You know, there are ways to prevent that kind of thing from happening."
Luke: "Ya...not too many of 'em are a hundred percent. And if Carly's taking care of it the odds change."
About Carly's pregnancy, 10-7-97
"I'm gonna be the little bugger's great uncle until the day he dies, and I take the word great very seriously."
To Carly, 10-8-97
Luke: "You look a little pale. You sure that strict diet of human flesh agrees with you?"
Stefan: "I assume you returned alone."
Luke: "Well, it only takes one of us to check the necks of our clan for teeth marks."
"Well, now you got another shot at the blonde who's IQ matches her bra size. ...And now you don't even have to wheel her around. She can walk and carry your luggage. Where is the glassy eyed victim? Shopping?"
To Stefan, 10-10-97
"You know, just because Count Vlad took a big bite out of your marshmallow heart and spit it out on the grimy floorboards is no reason to take that out on innocent bystanders."
To Katherine, 10-13-97
"The only difference between this place and the Titanic is they had a band."
To Katherine, about GH, 10-13-97
"It's your life, my boy. Live it as you will and die as you must."
To Jason, 10-14-97
"God, people can be so rude."
To Bobbie, 10-15-97
"Open up Miss Bell. You've won the retribution sweepstakes! This win entitles you to one coupon good for kickin' a Cassadine where the sun don't shine!"
"Anything's possible in my world."
To Katherine, 10-16-97
"Nothing I like better than being argued over."
To Katherine and Stefan, 10-16-97
Katherine: "Do you want to know what he really said to me when he came over?"
Luke: "No, let me tell you. He said I'm the big bad wolf, he's grandma, and you'd better watch your cookies in the woods."
Luke: "No, my darlin', the audience didn't walk out. They stormed; they seethed. Stefan's nostrils were flared wide enough to park Buicks."
Katherine: "And that's a good thing?"
Luke: "Don't tell me when your little bouncy heart has been dribbled all over the court that it doesn't feel good every once in a while to slam dunk one."
Katherine: "You're lying."
Luke: "Now see, if you'd have said that to him a few times along the way you wouldn't have to sit here and have this irritating conversation with me."
Luke: "Well, actually, I thought I might start by strip searching his cousin."
Katherine: "You are sick. And I will not be an accomplice to that."
Luke: "No? And I was hoping you'd hold her down."
Luke: "And I think I told you once that Laura has ruined me for ordinary women."
Alexis: "What makes you think that I'm an ordinary woman?"
Luke: "Just testing your reflexes.
"How can you think that I would poison your family? What a waste of toxic substance."
To Alexis, 10-20-97
Alexis: "But, you know, some people need hobbies."
Luke: "And what's yours? Spit-shining Cousin Stiff's penny loafers? Don't you get sick of that? And what about all the time you have to be the one scramblin' around doin' the damage control for whatever world domination plot he's blown this week while he goes off and stalks his favorite dim bulb. That must really get on your nerves. Whatever went south between Blondie and the Count, there were enough cow-eyed longing looks in The Outback tonight to give me motion sickness."
Alexis: "Try Dramamine. Or hemlock."
Luke: "Search me."
Alexis: "I have to go home. But thanks just the same. Listen, you're welcome to sit here and visualize if you like. Oh, and by the way, if you do set foot on the island you'll be shot for trespassing."
Luke: "Ya, that happens a lot out there, doesn't it. Well, if I'm wheelchair bound will you promise to fall in love with me?"
Alexis: "I'd rather be shot myself."
"Look. There's only so much of this peek-a-boo crap I can stomach. Particularly just before I eat. Now can let your hands wander all over me; you can hang your cleavage all over the table; you can do whatever you want to make Cassadine scowl. But just remember why I'm here. I'm here to show you mine if you show me yours."
To Katherine, 10-24-97
"You look frazzled. Shaky. Maybe a little pale. Either they canceled your gold card or you had another run in with your assailant-slash-dreamboat."
To Katherine, 10-27-97
Katherine: "Why? He's leaving. What more do you want?"
Luke: "Justice. For having blackmailed my wife. For almost killing my son. For drugging my mother-in-law and keeping her hostage for ten years. You see, Katherine, he...he's hurt more people than you. Ya, but're the only one...who can press charges. Now maybe you oughta think about that before you just bid him Bon Voyage and see him go off to a good life of ouzo, grape leaves, and homemade baklava."
Bobbie: "Stefan has become even more bizarre than ever."
Luke: "Practice makes perfect."
Week of 10-27-97
"Ladies and gentlemen, from now on every damn thing around here is gonna be different!"
Heralding Guza's return, 12-8-97
"We gotta go for a new attitude. No more of this yes sir, no sir, whatever you say ma'am. I mean, you know, we're too polite. I mean, look at them. Ya! The customer's always right? I don't think so; look at this crowd. You know why they come in here? They come in here because we are cool. And because they would like to achieve a little cooldom for themselves."
To the club staff, 12-8-97
"Mike, I've been home, but now I'm back."
"Excuse me, I've gotta master a ceremony."
To the Quartermaines, 12-8-97
"Don't freeze. My blowtorch is in the shop."
To Nikolas, 12-8-97
"Emily, until the day I wander around town with my underwear on the outside of my clothes, dribble running down my chin, please don't call me Mr. Spencer."
"Ya, well you can sign uh...for me any time I need surgery, Miss Davis. I'm not nearly so picky about who saves my life."
"My son was in that club when it was riddled with bullets. So when I ask you, "What are you gonna do to stop that from happening again," not only do I expect an answer, I deserve one."
To Jason, 12-15-97
Justus: "How are Laura and the kids?"
Luke: "Swell. How are you and your conscience?"
"Why is it so much fun, no matter how old I get, to scare my baby sister."
To Bobbie, week of 12-15-97
"Well sure they fight, Barbara. I mean, wouldn't you fight if you were one of them?"
About the Cassadines, week of 12-15-97
Alexis: "Who is it?"
Luke: "Santa's tallest elf. Biggest too..."
"What is it? Royal business at the little kingdom that thought it could but maybe it can't?"
To Alexis, 12-19-97
"Now that your family history is buzzin' around in the air you never know who's gonna take bug spray to it."
To Alexis, 12-19-97
"Come on out! It's your all-American boy toy, here to be toyed with. Come on, Helena, I'll spank your tambourine."
Helena: "Well, I've wasted nearly a year on my back."
Luke: "Oh, no, never a waste, Helena. You on your back? That's not a cure, that's a career."
Helena: "So I've tried to tell you."
Helena: "If Nikolas had died, someone you love might have joined him."
Luke: "Oh, pussycat. You wouldn't slit your own throat."
"She's crazy about me. She wants to take me home, slice the meat from my bones, and whip me up into a nice thick falafel."
To Alexis, 12-22-97
"I do my best work with my bare hands."
To Alexis, 12-26-97
"Look, Pollyanna. The wicked stepmother knows that you're King Herod's bastard daughter. The Prince of Punishment is next in line for the information. Once he finds out you're not only his betrayer you're also his rival that means you the big bad bogeyman, princess, and the dark won't be safe until you're eliminated from it."
To Alexis, 12-26-97
"You refuse to be as smart as I know you are."
To Alexis, 12-26-97
"He's as transparent as a bullet-proof windshield."
To Alexis, about Stefan, 12-26-97
"You know, you'd be astounded what I can accomplish when I'm motivated."
To Alexis, 12-26-97
"Maybe we'll have a better year next time."
To Bobbie, week of 12-29-97
"Edward, you wanna buy a baby I'll give you a phone number to the black market. This one isn't for sale."
"Edward. Happy New Year. To you and your whole blood-sucking clan."

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